Saturday, January 26, 2013

Potty Trained? Retract That.

You may recall in an earlier post, I claimed victory, thinking Kya was fully potty trained.  I expected a few accidents, but we're way past the "few" mark.  For instance, she pooped in her pull up at the gym then proceeded to stick her hand down her pants.  She has NEVER done this before, now all of a sudden when I think she's got it down, she decides to be a poop digger!?  Then she was sick.....  I gave her the benefit of the doubt because she had diarrhea.  Those may really have been accidents.  This week I think she's just plain gotten lazy.  She was getting a skittle every time she peed, but once she was a pro at number 1, she was just getting 5 or so for any number 2 in the toilet.  It was after I took away the candy rewards that she all of a sudden started having "accidents" as she tells me every time.  Yesterday she pooped in the tub and told me the rubber ducky did it.  I threw the beloved rubber ducky in the garbage and when she protested I insisted that it had to be done because he was covered in disgusting poop and there was nothing else we could do.  I know, I know, I'm supposed to be patient, she's still young.  I'm not supposed to punish....yada, yada, yada.  I know she's got it down and I think she's messing with me.  She physically has it down, she wakes up in the mornings with a dry pull up and she can drink the same amount as Ryker and hold it way longer.  She also will use the toilet every time if she knows there is some kind of reward involved.  The girl's got bladder control!  Maybe it is something psychological or emotional because she has told me that she wants to be a baby, but then in the next breath she wants to do big girl stuff.  Anyway, this leads me to today's brilliant idea.  Next stop is taking things away every time she does her business in her pull up or underwear.  I know that's against everything I've read.  I'm supposed to reward her not punish her, but I'm a little frustrated.  Today I made two cups.  The first is to put a puff ball in each time you use the potty.  She put one in because I explained my new scheme right after she went potty.  The next was to put a puff ball in each time she peed in her pull up.  I'm sure you can tell which is which in the picture.



Yep, the happy face one means at the end of the day, we'll have a big potty celebration.  We'll have treats and blow out candles, and blow up balloons (all her suggestions for a perfect party)....whatever she wants.  If there is even on puff ball in the sad face cup though, there will be no celebration and we'll start again tomorrow.  That means every potty needs to go in the toilet all day long, not just when she feels like making the effort.

So here she is in her underwear ready to rock this challenge, right?
 

It took her about 10 minutes after the cup explanation to pee in her underwear right on the kitchen floor with the bathroom 10 feet away and me 2 feet away.  Then she slunk off around the corner and hid under the kitchen stools, dragging pee all over the kitchen.  Fast forward about an hour.....she pooped on the bathroom floor (first time for this) then was slowly heading for her room when I asked her where her pull up was.  She said she put it in the garbage.  I jumped up to see what the real story was a noticed she had poop hanging off her butt and on her foot.  She may have pooped in the pull up too and dropped it on the floor trying to dispose of the evidence.  I'm not exactly sure how it went down.  All I know is it wasn't in the toilet and she made a huge mess!  
 
Now that I look back at this picture, I can see the mischief running through her mind.  She thinks the cup idea is my dumbest one yet and she'll pass on using the toilet.

I sent her to her room and got on the treadmill to burn off a little frustration.  Five miles and a lot of talking to myself later, I was cooled off.   I went into it thinking I was going to start using punishment instead of rewards, but after my run I felt much better and decided I was going to be indifferent about whether she uses the potty or not for a week or so, then try again.  If we don't have better results next time around, she's going to start loosing her favorite toys!
Later that day, I went to take a shower.  She wanted to color while I was in the shower.   I told her she had to wait until I was out.  Of course she wanted to color now!  I told her I didn't trust her to just color on the paper because she often colors on the table even when I'm watching.  She opted to sit on my bed and watch cartoons until I was done.  When I got out of the shower, she was gone, the door was shut and my sheets and pillow cases were covered in purple marker.  I ran to find her fearing that she'd colored on every piece of wood in the house.  When I saw the wall just inside my room door was colored on, I flipped out and started screaming her name.  Ryker yelled that she was upstairs and she had a marker.  Luckily she colored on nothing else, except her entire body.  I sent her back to her room after a lecture about how she knows better.  Now I was certain she was rebelling, doing the opposite of what I asked her to do or not to do.
I decided to put a diaper on her and pretend I didn't care.  She peed in it all day long, not once in the toilet.  We were downstairs and I took a wet diaper off her and told her not to pee until I got her a new diaper upstairs.  She insisted that she didn't need one and that she would pee in the toilet.  About 20 minutes later, she peed on the carpet upstairs.  I put her in her room, put a diaper on her and told her to clean her room.  Then I got really immature.  I'm not proud of the level I stooped to, but I did it.  When we went to the mailbox, she wanted to ride her bike, but I made her ride in the stroller because babies don't ride bikes.  She wanted to slice an apple like Ryker, but I made her eat applesauce.  Of course Ryker joined me with the "you have to be a big girl to do this and babies can't do that" banter.  That afternoon she told me she wanted to be a big girl and she has not wet her pull up for two and a half days.  Each day she fills her smiley face cup with puff balls and we've had two potty parties now.   I'm at a loss here.  I want her to be potty trained, but I'd really rather she respond to positive reinforcement than me basically picking on her.  I can't imagine teaching her things in the future if that is how her little defiant little mind works.  I guess we'll see if it sticks this time.

  
By the way, Ryker was feeling left out with the whole smiley face, sad face cups so I made some for him for putting the seat down.  He will never get an end of day celebration.  He gets like 2 puff balls a day in his smiley face cup and I put about 8 in his sad face cup.  It's just become a big joke now.  Also, when can I go from thanking him for telling me he peed on the floor, to getting mad at him for doing so?  I don't want him to stop telling me, but seriously, when does it end?!  Ugh....boys!

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