Seth and I had our first parent/teacher conference last week. Yep, you read that right. I'm in charge of another human's development. I'm feeling pretty grown up right now. Of course, there wasn't much more to it than that. We already knew he could count to 20 with a skip or mix up in the teens, he can identify at least half his letters, he's been singing the ABC's since before he was in school, has known all his colors and shapes including crazy ones like cylinders and turquoise, and is a very rambunctious three year old learning to use his words to address conflict, frustration, and feelings, and to compromise with other 3-6 year olds. I don't know how Seth was as a boy, but I can tell you that Cam was supposed to always have one body part touching his desk in the 3rd grade. Any body part would do as long as it meant he was tethered to his desk. And Ty? Well, eight years after his brother, apparently Mr. Capp had gotten a little more resourceful and Ty was actually duct taped to his chair. You wouldn’t get away with that these days and both my brothers would probably be medicated for some hyper active disorder, but they, like Ryker now, were just balls of energy that needed a longer recess and a few more stair laps in gym class as far as I’m concerned. Thankfully Mrs. Tina recognizes, embraces, and nurtures the spirited little character that he is just as Mr. Capp did 20+ years ago.
So in a nutshell, he's a happy, healthy, bundle of energy that gets along with everyone in his class. The most important thing that his teacher has stressed to me numerous times, although she didn't say it in our conference, is that he is kind. I'm sure there will be days that he picks on other kids or is unkind, but for now he’s a sweet, gentle soul. He will be a big guy and we are doing the best we can to teach him to be compassionate and to protect and stick up for others instead of picking on them. Unfortunately, Kya is the punching dummy for most of his “lessons”, but she’ll survive…just as I did. He loves her and is great with her, but we use her a lot to show him how his actions affected her and that even when it is an accident, he needs to check on her, find out if she’s okay, get someone if she’s hurt, hug her, help her up, hold her hand while he walks her to the house…..not just say he’s sorry and run off to ride his bike while she picks the gravel out of her lip and wipes the muddy tire tracks off her back.
There is a natural tendency to be compassionate, but we sometimes don't act on those impulses. I think teaching that at a young age is very important. I was a nice kid and I'd consider myself to be a compassionate adult, but I remember exact turning points in my life where I learned compassion for certain things, even as an adult. I still have a long way to go and I can’t believe some of the things that I never understood until I experienced them myself. Now though, at least I know that even though I may not understand something and I can’t even fathom being in someone else's shoes, I keep a more open mind and am much more sensitive to the feelings and pain of others. I'm able to be a much better friend and am much more comfortable having tough conversations about difficult situations where it would be my preference to avoid the situation all together. Now, I go to the hospital, I check on people, I send the card, because it doesn't matter what you say, it's that you cared enough to take the time even though it would be easier not to.
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